Measuring tapes or Parents

I feel so elated that finally I am able to bring my pen and notepad in contact. Actually this exercise is the biggest hurdle in my whole activity of writing an article. Many ideas have been martyred due to this already. Anyways let us not waste this opportunity and move on to the main theme.

We all have come across the situations wherein the desperate parents are seen cajoling the kid to show his/her talent to the guests in their house or the host they are playing guest to. In fact it won’t be inappropriate to say here that we all have been through such exercises in various roles. ‘Beta dance kar k dikhao, woh poem sunao, mono act kar k dikhao jisk liye tumhe 1^st prize mila tha ‘, mind the boldness of the words. This type of situations is not very uncommon. They happen everywhere or maybe I must say can happen anywhere. The parents just need a chance to point out how well they are nurturing the good manners, all round talent in their kids. And in case the kid decides to disobey, tab to ram bhi nahi bachayenge. He has to face the wrath of parents almost like this, ‘bejati kara di, ghar mein to itna patar patar karta hai, par wahaan nahi bola gaya, saari mehnat paani mein gai’. I fail to understand here, why the hell the parents forget that the kid is more natural in his house when he does not have any expectation and fear for earning appreciation hovering over. And this is the very reason he becomes shy and is not able to behave in usual manner. Why do we cannot feel good if our kid just sits quietly and observes things in new environment or new people? He has all the basic right to decide his course of action and we should restrict from imposing ourselves on him till he crosses some line of bad behavior. He is not a puppet that can be made to act in desired manner as and when needed.

We all get chances to play various roles in this activity; I like to call ‘Show Talent and Become Proud’. As kids we might have been victim of this social miss mannerism. As we grow to become parents we love to bully our new victims. Parents want the kids to make them proud in whatever they do. Whereas the norms of good parenting suggest that we should be focused on being their friends and allies in the journey of growth.

Why do we as parents take our kids in similar fashion as some materialistic possession of ours, expecting them to make us proud and bring us accolades. Give the kids their space; let them showcase what they have got naturally, in this case also their good attributes will be taken as your efforts only. Only in this situation both we and the kid will be sharing the success together.

Getting the kids to interactive mode is good but expecting them to always excel in same is bad. Our ego, whims and fancies take a dangerous toll on our relation. The main reason for this situation arises from our basic habit of comparison. We love to compare. Anything and everything. Our being fat or short, tall or handsome may not bring many emotions to us. But when we feel that we are shorter than xyz or vice versa we have either the inferiority complex or superiority complex. Whereas one case throws us into the inferior darkness, the other side rides us to the dangerous whimsical fancies. Both are equally dangerous. And the same nature compels us to compare our kids with others.

We should motivate them to learn from others, whereas what we do, is to instill in them the habit of comparing, jealousy etc.. We all hate it when done to us in our childhood but adorn the mask of a bully when we become parents.

But no guys, this is not done. We must admit that it is to be stopped. Maximum of the readers are yet to enter the parental phase of life, I just wish that this article will help the parent in us to be a parent and not a measuring tape.

Are we socially awakened enough?

“The first coach of every train is reserved for ladies only, male passengers are requested not travel in this coach”, this is a very often heard announcement in the metro stations of the Delhi Metro. The reason for providing the one full coach for ladies as we all presume is to provide the lady commuters a more comfortable and convenient travel. We all, male or female understand that travelling in the public transport with the crowd makes it inconvenient and uncomfortable. The various reasons we all are aware of and need no revision here.

All this said I would like to narrate some parts from my day to day travel diary

There was as usual lot of crowd on the Kashmiri gate metro station; I was to board the metro going toward Rithala. As usual the guards were fighting their luck to persuade the lady passengers to stay in line and leave the centre space for the passengers to de board the train. But somewhere in their heart they also must be aware that their efforts will not bear any fruits as they see daily. Other than that another problem for them was to move the male passengers out of the ladies coach and they shouted and told to hold the train if they don’t move. They warned to call the authorities at next station and fine the guilty and train rushed on amidst all this. The next two stations saw the officials and the policeman respectively to buzz off the men out of the first coach. I got down when the policemen were still persuading the abettors out of the ladies coach. I felt sort of pity at the sight of mockery done to the laws and provisions made for the women in the society. The incident is nothing new and rare and is enacted in the public transport very often.

The coming one is even more interesting

I overheard a lady commuter one day suggesting a friend of her to travel by general coaches rather than just the ladies. The advantage according to her is that as the metro in peak hours are crowded and hence there are rare chances to get a seat at her station. But if you enter a general coach and as it is that the metro coaches a few seat reserved for ladies/senior citizens/physically challenged so you can always get the ladies seat evacuated. Wow! I thought even when you have got a complete share of yours in the pie you are still busy in penetrating to others zone and snatch away as much as we can.

The above two incidents can be ignored very easily in our busy daily lives. But if we just stop for a few minutes and give it a thought, we realize how these two actions are not good for social life. I mean taking the first incident how could we expect these men to educate their kids, son to be more specific to respect the dignity and space of women.  How can we expect that we will have the future generation with the morals and learning to respect the women and her rights when the upbringing of them is in hands of such people? How can we say that we are not moving towards the time when society is bound to see more cruel happenings as the Keenan Rueben case has been? There are various reasons given by men to board the ladies coach, the most frequent one is this. As the ladies coach gate is the first one near to the escalator or the stairs, we may have to miss the train if we move towards next gate. I would like to remind here that the frequency of the metro is 3 mins on these lines in peak hours. 3 minutes I don’t think is as much time that forces you to behave in such a way.

The other one is even more dangerous as the culprit here is a mother. Mother is ought to be the first teacher in everyone’s life. Now what to expect from a mother so desperate to get a seat?

 Such actions when added up tell you the state of society and health of its civic life. I feel sorry to say that the condition of the civic life is very pathetic. We all move on roads and behave in public as in we have no moral responsibility for being part of society. Our behavior is even more shameless that the stray animals roaming around.

Science tells us that we human beings belong to the larger group that is of animals only; it is just the wisdom to use our mind that we have got from God that separates us from other animals. But the behavior of above type puts us back in the group along with other animals. Man evolved from the family of apes and it seems to me as if our ancestors are calling us back to their world. Even a pet can be made good mannered if trained well, then why cannot we groom our ways. The only point I wish to put across is that let us stop just living the life but live it in a more aware state of mind.

Our epics and spiritual preaching always warn us to watch our actions as they one day will become our character. And the very character of ours will then add up to make the character of an area, a country and the complete planet as whole. Let us wake up from the sleep we have induced ourselves in and our ways. If we will keep sleeping the way we are now, day is not far when the world will resemble more to a concrete jungle with each one running around for his/her carnival needs and not worried for others and love and life will become extinct. Let us pledge to save our character and hence the life on earth.

Wisdom with Lakshmi

Mondays are never welcomed by anyone in general and Monday after festivities and long weekend are even dreaded more. So it took me also special courage to come to office. The festival of Diwali was celebrated with the signature grandeur and fun. The occasion of Lord Rama’s return to hometown saw people immersing in the details of festival with shopping, eating and sharing love and friendship being the main modes of celebration. Sahi  mein Diwali gives us the certified legal reason to indulge in extremities of eating and I Love this part the most. With all these one more main event of Diwali is the Lakshmi Pooja. The pooja is performed in each home as per their traditions.

While I have to perform the auspicious ritual in my home, this year the activity drifted my thoughts to some piece of writing I had read way back. I don’t remember the wordings but the writing can precisely be summarized as in “Beware!  Her arrival, my dear Son may be your long cherished dream; She may come with all gold and glitter but see the hidden threat that comes along. As she come riding on her vehicle the infamous Owl, the not so desirable attributes of this creature do also come. Beware of this wisdom erosion.”

When I read it I might have been in some high school years and the article seemed more of a spiritual scholastic piece of writing but today it seemed to show me the mirror. This is exactly what is happening. People have money but their wisdom has left them; hence leaving them more of the mammals in the human form devoid of the most precious gift of almighty to human. The owl of the deity has virtually penetrated in our lives and established itself in mainstream of our lives.

Recently in the Gurgaon expressway toll plaza shooting case the reason for murder as told by the accused is that his anger burst on being asked to pay the duty. And why should he be not questioned, what are his prized attributes that earn him this super credit? He has the MONEY (not necessarily hard earned may be the price of the land sellout that has happened in NCR). I am sure the speed with which the anger rages in the people today must leave Lord Shiva behind. Do we really need such wealth that will make us so blind that we are unable to see the importance of earning youth in a middle class family and shoot at him mercilessly?

We all aim for high pay packages and hence more money, but what are we planning to do with all this earning of ours? Buy ourselves a multi bedroom multi storied house. And then buy interior decoration items for these rooms that are priced illogically. And now that we have well furnished house, what next? I mean the space you need to sleep, stand, sit etc is fixed and add a few inches for comfortable zone. We still have lot more space left. Our family size will be 4 in generic and max 6-7. So what about the other rooms? What use will they be put to? I don’t know about others but yes they will earn us the curses of our servants for sure as they have to keep them in order even if nobody pays a visit to them. Well for girls we can indulge in our favorite pastime. Yes, all you smiling ladies you guessed it right; shop our way through more luxurious malls and shops. But we all know that the real enjoyment comes to us when we hear this: itne ka nahi bhaiya bahut jyaada hai kam karo, kahaan se liya mast hai , itne mein to sahi hai yaar, gud hai main bhi wahin se loongi. These words may sound against our lifestyle than but we all cannot deny the fact that these words have the soul of our shopping.

I don’t know how it is like being rich but I know I am not going to like it. The thought of riches bring to me the thought of over obsessed, more plastic lifestyle. May be my thought are not so very correct and may be missing full story but as of now I just pray to Godess lakshmi

Sain itna dijiye jaame kutumb smaaye, main bhi bhookhan na rahon sadhu bhookha na jaaye…

Sad Demise of the Gentlemen’s Game

‘Lo, iss light ko bhi abhi hi jaana tha, radio kahaan hai, cell kahaan rakhe hain, jaldi dhoondon ek bhi cheez thikaane nahi milti. Last overs hai, har ball important hai jaldi karo …..’, these lines uttered by my anxious , worried  and curious for the result of very important match of cricket, papa are still fresh in my mind.

They take me back to the times when mobile phone era was yet to set in and radio channel was not synonymous to FM. There was AIR and the old transistors provided all respite to the radio lovers. And this commodity became even more sought after whenever the Thomas Edison invention left us midway a one day match or the series was an abroad one, not being telecasted on the TV channels(DD).

But even when, resource crunch and difficult access was there, listening to commentary or watching live the maestros of strokes was a cherished experienced. Everyone planned for the upcoming series in their own way, students praying for no exam colliding with matches, senior lot of house avoiding any reason for the visit to somebody’s place or someone paying visit to their abode. The season of the series has its own ambience and the effect staying on for few days even after it was over filing the life with joy if INDIA won or leaving all sad and cursing in case of loss.

The series were awaited eagerly, they were few in number but enjoyed to fullest. Everything that is available in limits is always cherished. Abundance usually erodes the quality out of an item. This very principle seems to have affected the gentlemen’s game. The time when there were fewer cricket matches, it was filled with gritty performances by the superb players. The excellence of game remained supreme and hence attracted all.

Today cricket has become virtually 24*7 commodity. Loads of new championships are invented and people are fed so much with it that the taste is lost. The players are either not fit or are tired enough to give their best to the game.

Business minds who saw huge prospect of profit in the game seems to forget that the game they are investing is being played by not machines but the humans who have the same body limitations as we all have. Stretching the same is neither good for them nor for the game. And in fact it won’t be correct here to point only to the investors and the business lobby when the players themselves have chosen the path of extra earnings risking their fitness and longevity in the game. It is not my intent to say that the expansion or widespread of the game is bad but we still have a good amount of the skilled players still waiting for their chance. Why are we not able the release their potential even when we are literally feeding cricket to masses daily. The need of hour is rotation policy and much more sane management to save the grace of the game. Else we are nearing days playing with 11 injured players and have all retired hurt.

Money it seems has taken the centre stage from pitches and wickets. My heart just worries that the glamour, the money and the mahanga tamasha surrounding the game make take the soul out of the game. I can still bet on a 70’s test match for most of the 20-20 IPL or CL matches for the sake of technique execution, grit determination, skill display and sportsmanship. With each new stupid venture to sell the game, my heart weeps for the sad demise of its one of the favorite sport.

BEING MOTHER

                                     

‘Mom’, these three words, few years back had all my needs and demands centered on them. All my day to day activities, most minute needs saw their fulfillment in that one word. From my laundry to my shoes; my regular meals to my nutritional requirements; my mannerism to my indulgences; she has been my guide and guard.

But these things remained as part of basic life and never got my special attention as today. She being my mom, it’s her duty; this orthodox rule had a firm place in my mind. But last one year had made me realize that it’s much much more being a mother. The duties that seem obvious to us as kids, makes her life. She lives those moments sometimes as joy, at other as anxiety or care. She has all her emotions bundled around her kids.

The moment I heard my doctors talk among them that the heart rate of the baby had started dipping due to excessive fluid loss, my body that was tired to death due to two days labor pain, has energy all of a sudden to shout at them to do something rather than just discuss. The well being and pain of the unborn overtook my own pains.

And the time he came in our lives, his moments started driving my emotions, his smile making me smile and his cry making me anxious and cry. In morning when I leave for work and till I get back home his innocent and mischievous eyes and two front teethed smiles crosses my mind countless time. Every minute delay from usual schedule in reaching home makes me anxious as if I am committing a crime. No assignment given by supervisor seems urgent enough to stop me from leaving for home on time. The performance appraisals, salary hikes have somehow taken the back seat. Each minute I get to spend watching his new learning, new mischief and tantrums, new adventures; I feel blessed and thank almighty for that.

I just wish to give him the best of myself not allowing anything to come in between neither my materialistic desires nor my physical constraints. This wish of mine somehow drives me closer to my mom thinking of her same desire and her success in achieving it.

From 25 Sep ’2010 5:17 A.M., the mother in me drives my life. It’s the duties of a mother that rule keeping aside the whims and fancies and desires and aspirations of me as individual. And it’s not by any binding but comes naturally to me and I think to all of us.

Motherhood is really a very angelic gift of GOD to women and we shall all thank him for that and enjoy it to fullest.

Friendship

While driving to office the lyrics of the song ‘Puraani Jeans’ drove my thoughts to the school classrooms and college corridors with friends around me, laughing, teasing and enjoying life purely and perfectly.

The moments shared, experiences felt, stories narrated, dreams discussed and feelings felt, all emotions somehow accumulated in one moment of life. The word ‘FRIEND’ to one and all reminds of joy, affection, sharing, caring, complaints, fights, screams and many more. May be my knowledge of adjectives fell short to describe this feeling completely.

Friendship is centric element of human life. We may have various relations in our life but somehow somewhere each of these relations accumulates to friendship. When a boy/girl crosses the adolescent age parents always assure them with the sense that they are now friends more than parents and hence the child can confide in with all his worries, doubts, queries etc. Teacher who is friendlier rather than bossy is liked more by students.

Friendship does not have any set defined rules of lineage or age as other relations have. Friends can be of any age, any background (financial, educational, religious etc). It’s just that the desire to share moments (good or bad) of life together that makes friendship to grow between individuals.

The biggest charm of friendship is that it is free from all formalities. The frankness to share it provides is the biggest gem. Friend is a person you open your heart with no hesitation, no presumptions, no fear. The love and care is felt from the deepest depth of heart and the complaints are just said and forgotten.

Friendship in a global way is solution given by HIM to human being for all their problems. The type of society that we are growing into today with crime, terrorism, hatred increasing at a disturbing rate, the solace that friendship can provide can definitely prove to be a savior.

Lets use this beautiful gift of GOD to heal, help, grow, learn and live a life to its BEST.

If human life is a garden and all the relations are flowers of this garden, friendship surely is the smell in all these relations (both personal and professional). On this friendship day I just wish this beautiful aroma spreads across more hearts and bless us all.

THIRSTY THOUGHTS

“Wow Soda,limca sab ek side par pyaas to paani se hi bhujti hai “, I confide to myself while galloping that glass of cold water. The satisfaction and fulfillment derived is beyond the reach of my vocabulary. But suddenly my state of satisfaction is intervened by the thoughts of dripping taps, water flowing into the drains uselessly just because someone did not have enough time or sincerity to turn off the tap after using it. And the places I have in my mind are not the bus stands, railway stations or the street taps. But what I remembered was the shameless wastage of water that I have seen many a times in the girl’s hostel of eminent engineering college or the ladies washroom of a high profile software company. Well I am sorry if it sounds offensive to the ladies reading it because I cannot comment about the boy’s section as I did not have an opportunity to visit their premises.

But the main thing is that we all contribute to wastage of natural resources in spite of differences in our education level, our upbringings etc. I really feel as if someone is slowly killing the life with each drop of that water flowing uselessly into the drains. It gives me a feeling that we all have somehow turned into a murderer. How much time or effort does it take to turn off the tap (completely) once your task is over? And the returns it fetches are beyond comparison.

Have we become so busy in our other important tasks that this moral duty of ours has become negligible? If that is the case then beware my dear friends because one day this ignored task will pay back in a mammoth way. I don’t know if we will be alive to see that or not but those present then would never forgive you. Who have given us power to waste the share of others from this natural resource?

We feel very proud for ourselves thinking that we have progressed. But if our education, our upbringing, our spiritual thinking cannot make us responsible enough to thank and respect the precious nature we have. Then I think we are wasting our time effort to gain such education or so called spiritual wisdom. We are lagging in our education, in our upbringing, in our morals everything, everywhere.

Wake up friends, it is just a matter of feeling your responsibility from the heart and gets connected with the natural life around other than the shiny material life we are engaged in.

It is well known that “Better Late than never”. But if it’s too late it is as good (or may be as bad) as never. It is really tough to stay thirsty. If you do not believe please try and experiment it to believe it.